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Major dad: Vance officer is finalist for national fatherhood award

  • Published
  • By Jeff Mullin
  • Senior Writer, Enid News and Eagle
ENID, Okla. --  The 3rd Fighter Training Squadron at Vance Air Force Base is a unit with a combat heritage in which instructors teach students the finer points of flying a modern fighter aircraft.

But it is much more than that, said Lt. Col. James D. Bottomlee, commander of the 3rd FTS.

"My perspective is that I want our unit to be family oriented, as well," Colonel Bottomlee said.

One 3rd FTS instructor pilot with a particularly strong sense of family is Maj. Marc Mathes.

He and his wife, Kerry, are the proud parents of four children -- two boys and two girls.

This particular all-American family, however, is not entirely American in origin. The two girls, Faith and Allie, 9, were adopted from Guatemala while the boys, Demitry, 12, and Samuel, 10, were adopted from Russia.

Major Mathes' singular devotion to his blended family so impressed Colonel Bottomlee the commander nominated his friend and colleague for the National Fatherhood Initiative's Military Fatherhood Award.

Out of 600 nominees, Major Mathes has been chosen as one of three finalists for the award. This year, for the first time, the public is being asked to select the winner.

The families of the finalists each will submit a two-minute video, which will be posted on the National Fatherhood Initiative's Facebook page (facebook.com/nationalfather hoodinitiative), where, beginning April 15, you can vote on your favorite. Voting closes May 13.

To be considered, each nominee must meet four criteria, "displays an ongoing commitment and dedication to his children; makes extraordinary efforts to father from a distance when deployed, successfully balances military and family life and makes an effort to mentor other military fathers and/or military children who are separated from their fathers."

Major Mathes, Colonel Bottomlee said, fills the bill.

"I was impressed with the story of him being a father and his family," Colonel Bottomlee said. "The father that he is, is a servant-type father, a sacrificing father. He's a good friend, an outstanding officer and an awesome father."

When Colonel Bottomlee spoke to someone from the National Fatherhood Initiative and learned Major Mathes had made the top 10, he lobbied for his friend and colleague to be named a finalist.

Prior to their marriage, Kerry, then a flight attendant, seriously injured her back in an accident. After their 1994 marriage (and three back surgeries) doctors told the couple it would be risky for Kerry to become pregnant and carry a child to term.

"We said we love kids, and we're going to go adopt kids," Major Mathes said. "There are so many kids out there."

Prior to adopting his sons, Major Mathes traveled to the Russian orphanage that was their home. When he went he took food, formula and vitamins not only for his sons, but the other 100 children in the facility, most of which had blue, mottled skin due to malnutrition. "It broke his heart that he couldn't take them all home," Colonel Bottomlee wrote in his nomination submission.

In May 1999, the Mathes family welcomed Demitry. Samuel came into the family in March 2002. In October of that year, Faith and Allie joined the clan.

"This story is something that they write books about," Colonel Bottomlee said.

In nominating Major Mathes, Colonel Bottomlee wrote of his friend recording himself reading stories for his children before he deploys. Before he leaves, the family celebrates any important milestones he will miss while he's gone. He explains to the children why he is going and what he will be doing, putting the information in "kid terms," Colonel Bottomlee wrote.

Major Mathes passed up career-enhancing assignments because of the demands on his time these jobs would have demanded, Colonel Bottomlee wrote. After receiving a one-year unaccompanied assignment to Korea, Major Mathes volunteered for a two-year accompanied tour so he could take his family with him, despite the fact the move took him out of his primary aircraft, the F-15, for an extra year.

In addition, he counsels other fathers on raising children, shares his adoption experiences and checks on the families of fathers who are deployed. He also served as a youth pastor at his church, Enid 1st Assembly of God.

Major Mathes, who says he is not a fan of self-promotion and is "not a politician," is uncomfortable with the focus being on him.

"I think there are just thousands and thousands of good dads out there," said Major Mathes. "I don't feel I'm like a Superman. I just try to do the things that I think a husband, a father should do."

Major Mathes called Kerry, who home-schools the children, "a saint. Her job is harder than my job."

In adopting the children, Major Mathes and his wife undoubtedly have given them a better life. But the feeling is mutual, Major Mathes said.

"Everybody says, 'Oh, look what you've done for those kids,'" he said. "But what they do for us as parents, too, to see their love of life."

Demitry is a hunter and trap shooter. Samuel is quieter and more studious, preferring to work on LEGOs. He also is a budding engineer.

"He can just look at something and see how it works," Major Mathes said.

The girls, who are not twins and not even biological sisters, are both gymnasts who train at a gym in Stillwater. Allie also is a hunter with her own .410 shotgun, while Faith is another fan of LEGOs. The whole family is active in the church and all are NASCAR fans.

"They are great kids," Major Mathes said. "We love them to death."

Balancing the Air Force with his family life often is not easy, Major Mathes said, given the occasional 18-hour work day. But he does the best he can.

"I don't want to leave the Air Force and say 'All right, now I have time to spend with my family,'" he said. "I don't want my family to think, 'Now I finally get to see my dad.' I don't feel the Air Force doesn't allow me to be the dad I want to be.

"My kids think it's cool that I fly planes. But they also think I'm a cool dad and they get to spend time with me. That makes me pretty happy."